Decision making, part two

Put to the vote: One committee NOT involved with decision making. Photo: Supplied.
Put to the vote: One committee NOT involved with decision making. Photo: Supplied.

As the mercury took off and the anemometer went into warp speed Wednesday February 22, the commodore of the Strawbridge Pointers (CSP) sought advice from relevant bodies as to whether or not sailing should occur.

Decision making was to be fair to all but non-binding.

August committees associated with KIC, DPTI, DEWNR, UNESCO (sailing division), BOM and the KI Commissioner’s office were alerted to the CSPs’ dilemma.

A rapid deployment of over 340 public servants on KI occurred.

Sub-committees proliferated, non-specific agendas were drawn up and media releases were hatched before the joint chiefs of decision making met for a breakfast meeting.

CEOs, NCOs, assistant CEOs, directors of programs, administrators of policies, internal managers of protocols and their bevy of assistants all queued at the coffee pot.

Name tags sprouted.

OH&S issues for the committee were handed down and a security firm quietly engaged.

Isobars were examined, seaworthy tests were conducted, poultry experts determined whether hens would lay and emails were fired off to sisterhood groups in other hemispheres.

Wheels within wheels groaned into barely perceptible bureaucratic movement.

These wheels soon showered sparks when brakes were applied, due to the obvious need for more groups to become involved.

NRM, Friends of the Earth, PETA and Eco-Action all sought to clamber aboard to report on the correct decision.

The caterers were advised.

Following a wonderful spread of all that is good on KI, a holidaying UN official was controversially appointed as chair and the meeting reconvened at 2pm.

Terms of reference were bandied about.

Too confining or not as far reaching as they should be?

This debate became heated and all other business was shelved.

Business closed for the day at 4pm.

The round of drinks that followed only wound down when roosters began clearing their throats.

Phone numbers were exchanged.

One month later, following some questionable lobbying and widening knowledge that the UN official was escaping subpoenas in the US, a decision was handed down.

The CSP was advised that:

The decision was that no decision should be made by the appointed committees.

The paperwork is to be bundled up and sent to Adelaide for Major Project consideration.

Also, the State Government was not to blame.

For anything.

The report ran to 400 pages with accompanying graphs, pie-charts and the caterer's account.

Nothing, if not fair.