Sadly, the Australian Taxation office takes a dim view of sailors writing off their shiny new boating fixtures as tax deductions.
Surprisingly, there are archaic laws in place that compel all leisurely nautical types to pay taxes on their glistening deckware and silky new halyards.
Severe penalties, such as beheading in a public place, apply.
As it is tax time, the Strawbridge Pointers, downed pencils and laptops to enjoy their EOFY sail to Newland Bay Wednesday June 28.
Three sparkling vessels and Rubicon escaped the complexities of PAYE, offset accounts and franked dividends to enjoy a PAYS (Prognosticate As You Sail) day afloat.
Samphire with a shimmering lemon-coloured MPS filling out delightfully with a light sou’westerly, surged down channel, suggesting that she is in the top tier tax bracket.
Fresh from a bottom scrub and highly taxed anti-foul, Goshawk gathered the evidence and took off in pursuit of Samphire like the tax commissioner after Paul Hogan.
Hoges led a merry dance across the bay, with accountants (and often lawyerly) language overheard.
After being propped up by the taxpayer for years, Rubicon is now a tax haven.
Well, her bottom is a haven for myriads of tax-evading sea creatures as they frolic among her herbarium.
Accountants would love Trim. The ledgers all neat, pleasing lines and balanced books, but they’d be fooled.
Her master uses her as a working boat and is thus is entitled to many deductions. This was evidenced by the amount of commerce (fishing) that took place adjacent to Ballast Head.
As the heavens darkened, all boats anchored at Newland Bay, where avoidance, PONZI schemes and fraudulent dreams were espoused.
But as Al Capone found out, you can get away with murder, but the taxman will get you in the end.
The heavens weren’t fooling and rain ushered the scampering fleet back to moorings, but not before Trim gave a wonderful tacking display around the channel markers. Forget tax, just tack.
Sodden Pointers concluded that tax is best done before a roaring fire.