Wind Tax outrage for Strawbridge Pointers

WIND TAX: “Golden Odyssey” may be in a high tax bracket with all this canvas.

WIND TAX: “Golden Odyssey” may be in a high tax bracket with all this canvas.

With South Australians reeling with current power prices and our government anxious for new revenue streams, a controversial new levy is said to be quietly ushered through both houses in coming months in a bid to address both these issues.

SA's new Wind Tax is to be aimed squarely at the sailing fraternity.

“Sailors must be prepared to shoulder their share of tax, as all other residents and businesses are currently being forced to do,” a Government department spokesman said.

“The tax is to be collected through an app placed at the foot of each vessels mast. The app comes included with the compulsory purchase of every new EPIRB and flare package.

“The app calculates the amount of wind affecting each sail, applies standard SA power network charges and debits the tax from a credit card in real time in over 20 currencies.

“Yes, we aim to put the wreck back into recreational boating.”

The tax is expected to receive bi-partisan support, with politicians and departmental heads exempt from the levy.

“Clearly the aforementioned group are net wind generators, not users and should not be impinged upon,” the spokesman continued.

Harsh penalties are to apply should sailors fail to comply.

“Sail seizure, compulsory fitting of outboard motors and obligatory attendance at economic estimates committees are just three punitive measures on the table,” he continued.

“Gaol time and sailing with the Strawbridge Pointers, will be the fate of repeat offenders.

“No honeymoon period will apply, as the wind tax satellite (estimated cost $4.4 billion) is already in orbit gathering data and poised to debit accounts.”

A Strawbridge Pointers spokesman from Kangaroo Island said that the group, although disappointed was not unduly worried at the prospect of this new levy as the group had a surplus of windbags, who willingly supply a cheap form of inexhaustible alternate energy every second Wednesday.

“Many Pointers may become skilled tax evaders,” he surmised.

“With very few Pointers opting to sail and choosing the warmth of the local boathouse last Wednesday, the states coffers show no signs of swelling just yet,” he said. – Hal Yard

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